
Batman “The Dark Night” Review // July 18, 2008
I just got home from the midnight showing of “The Dark Night,” it’s way past 3AM. I am so tired, mad, and frustrated from what just happened. The A/C in Valley View Mall’s AMC Theater broke!!! I bought my ticket at North Park AMC on Tuesday…. All my friends bought theres last minute, night of… Could only go to Valley View AMC, because North Park sold out. I rather see a movie with my friends than alone, so I meet up with them.
Holy Crap! I’ll just tell you know, it was so hot in the theater… I fell asleep! Luckily I had my huge purse with me and start pulling stuff out of it to fan myself and give others to fan them self with; Agenda, stapled contact sheets, empty envelopes! I can not believe I fell asleep, it was just so hot I passed out! It was cooler temperature wise and socially, to be in the backyard of House of Danging watching “Clueless” than in that theater (Which I did go to and actually felt nice outside). Now I am labeling that theater as a ghetto mall with a ghetto theater… Before it was a ghetto mall, remodeled with a new theater. No. GHETTO MALL WITH A GHETTO THEATER!!! The only reason to go to that mall now is to buy shoes, because when a mall gets ghetto, the only stores there left standing are shoe stores… Ghetto as Town View Mall at Grand Prarie. Or even Richardson Square Mall, the “15 Minute Mall!” that closed!
Now to the movie… Since you now know clear the A/C broke… Not like some homeless person got up on the roof and STOLE the A/C unite, unlike some places in Deep Ellum. I would like a picture/cellphone camera shot of that! A person pushing the A/C unite from a roof. Anyways… They could totally get a 24 hour person to come fix it.
Okay, Review part. I was awake enough to see the Joker… Okay, Health Leadger… I saw fan stuff on the net saying that the guy from “American Psycho” should have played the Joker… But okay. It’s a dark movie and it’s him playing the Joker… And then slowly the showed who was playing Batman… Oddly it was American Psycho guy, I was thinking it would be cool if he played Batman, but when I saw him… I was shocked! He looks old! He should have played as Batman right after American Psycho!!! What the hell was up with his top lip! He needs pump that lip up with some ass fat! You know plump it or silicone inject that shizzznet! His face did not look right for a Batman role or Bruce Wayne… Every Batman movie ppl notice… The actor was either too much Batman and not enough Bruce Wayne or vice versa… Well, this guy was way too much Batman and not enough Bruce Wayne! Mainly he needed to plump up his face to look more wholesome for the hero Batman part and Billionaire Bruce Wayne.
I was sitting wondering, why did they redo The Joker?! I would only see them doing the joker again if it was second version of him like in cartoon Batman Beyond, but that’s a whole different thing. Why didn’t they do Ra Al Gul and the Lasoris Pitt with the daughter chick?!!?! (I didn’t watch Batman Begins, the only Batman Movie I didn’t see, so supposedly that Henri Ducard was portrayed by Liam Neeson first shown as an associate of Ra’s al Ghul, played by Ken Watanabe. But he kinda looks like Ra Al Gul… Anyways… The Lasoris Pit is a dark deep intricate story line which should totally be in a movie. While watching I realized they were redoing Two Face?!?!?! (Okay as you notice I don’t pay attention enough to commercials, previews, and pre-reviews of the movie)… What why redo Two Face… Yea yea The Joker created two face fine… but why not the last cartoon episodes of Batman Adventures when the Joker kills Robin, and gives the reason there is a 2nd Robin.
When I first heard the title “The Dark Night” I assumed it was about Robin turned bitter to Batman and turned into “Night Hawk…” Noo… The movie was going toward a different turn not remembering the past movies… I passed out when I found out who was playing Two Face… Okay had a clef chin, but nothing else was going on with him for Harvey Dent, oh gosh and his girl friend was ugly. I’m sorry but I was expecting a some “LA Conventional” hair with a curled under bob. and 50’s secretary look. Nope, just ugly. Harvey Dent was suppose to be a play boy with a hot girlfriend, that he was so ugly on one half that she cried because HE was so ugly and left her, not me crying cause she was hideous.
There was no need to redo The Joker…. and Two Face… If anything they should redo Mr. Freeze, because Arnold did not do a good job for a role that was suppose to be a deep dark history of his wife medical condition a cold heart with no feelings.
What they should do is start Batman Beyond with the new Batman and a futuristic edge, but supposedly Batman is not that old yet… It would be great to see a the futuristic items… Amazing characters like Ink and Curaré (the masked assassin). There are still characters they haven’t touched yet. Like Clay Face, Mary Dahl / Baby Doll, and Puppet Master.
I think Alfred should not be played by that British Actor guy… Yes, he’s a good actor… I’ve seem him everywhere, the most memorable role to me was in “Sleuth.” It should have fit the criteria of a tall skinny bald guy with round glasses.
What was up with the bat cave?!?! It’s suppose to be a dark movie, but all Matrixy!!! First off, I am a huge movie buff… From Gone with the Wind , War and Piece and others like it, to American Psycho and whatever is out there. I have a full listing of movies that have moved me in someway. It’s sad that they went away from the Art Deco look, and women all had the sexy secretary look going on.
This movie was a disappointment. Not only cause I fell asleep at the three quarters of the movie… Probably earlier than that if it was a two and half hour movie… It was crap because I felt miserable with the other 5 theaters without air conditioning.
Sincerely,
Brian T.